I am the soul of discretion.Fanny
[praying over Heather's casket] Hi, I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nicer place. Amen. Did that sounded bitchy?Veronica Sawyer
Let's pretend I blew up the school... all the schools. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?J.D.
What's the up-chuck factor on that?Veronica Sawyer
Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don't know what it's given me, but I have no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?Veronica Sawyer
I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose...J.D.
Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except for date rapes and AIDS jokes.J.D.
I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad everytime I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.Heather Duke
Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free.Veronica Sawyer
Heather McNamara: God, aren't they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?
Veronica Sawyer: Oh, sure. Pilgrims, Indians... Tator Tots. It's a real party continent.
Veronica Sawyer: That knife is filthy.
J.D.: What do you think I'm going to do with it, take out her tonsils?
Veronica Sawyer: Excuse me, I think I know Heather a little bit better than you do. If she were going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless.
Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.