Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband, work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, 30 and way past my expiration date.Toula Portokalos
[to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin.Aunt Voula
Harriet Miller: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
Rodney Miller: It's all Greek to me.
There are two kinds of people - Greeks, and everyone else who wish they was Greek.Gus Portokalos
I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"Toula Portokalos
When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate, and I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns.Toula Portokalos
You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end ... we all fruit.Gus Portokalos
Maria Portokalos: Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom."
Toula Portokalos: Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.
What do you mean he don't eat no meat? [the entire room stops, in shock] Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.Aunt Voula
Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age ... we didn't have food!Maria Portokalos
Toula Portokalos: What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
Ian Miller: Uh... yeah.
Toula Portokalos: No, really.
Ian Miller: You don't want to know.
Toula Portokalos: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.
Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Opa!Angelo