Carter Duryea: [Carter and Alex meet in an elevator] 47. Are you going to Sports America offices?
Alex Foreman: Yeah.
Carter Duryea: You an intern or something?
Alex Foreman: Uh, no, my dad works there.
Carter Duryea: Oh.
Alex Foreman: Are you interning there?
Carter Duryea: No, I'm starting a job there today.
Alex Foreman: That's good. Congratulations.
Carter Duryea: Oh, thank you. I'm totally scared shitless. I have no idea what I'm doing. Don't tell anyone, okay?
Alex Foreman: Okay.
Eugene Kalb: My son-in-law says I'm a dinosaur.
Dan Foreman: Hey, don't knock the dinosaurs. They ruled the earth for millions of years. They must've been going something right.
You're the new me. No wait... I'm the new me.Mark Steckle
Dan Foreman: I'm not gonna try to sell you.
Eugene Kalb: Why the hell not? You're a salesman.
Dan Foreman: Yeah. Just not a very good one, that's all.
Eugene Kalb: I'll say.
Dan Foreman: But I am going to ask you one favor.
Eugene Kalb: Oh, yeah?
Dan Foreman: I'm gonna leave you an issue of the magazine and I'm personnally gonna send you a new one every week. Now, I'll call you in a few weeks, and if you want to we'll talk. There's a great article in there comparing today's quarterbacks with Johnny Unitas.
Eugene Kalb: [scoffs] Unitas would kick their butts. So this is your sales pitch?
Dan Foreman: I've been with the magazine for 20 years. I believe in it.
Eugene Kalb: Thanks for the Laker tickets.
Dan Foreman: You bet.
Eugene Kalb: Seats were terrific. But I'm still not going to advertise in the magazine. My son-in-law tells me that people don't read much any more. Too much effort moving eyes back and forth. So we're gonna put most of our budget into television, radio, internet.
Dan Foreman: We made a deal remember? We made a deal we'd always be honest with one another.
Alex Foreman: Dad, I was like five years old when we made that deal.
Dan Foreman: Yeah, I liked you better then.
Dan Foreman: How are you?
Morty: Not so good, not so good. I mean psychologically.
Dan Foreman: I'm sorry.
Morty: That's okay. Anyway my wife got a promotion. I'm hoping she'll raise my allowance.
Carter Duryea: [Alex dims the lights, turns on soft music, and lights incense] Well, it looks like everything is perfect.
Alex Foreman: So why are you still talking?
[after learning he's been fired] Dan what the hell am I gonna tell my wife? I mean she already wears the pants, now she's gonna wear the tie and jacket too.Morty
Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid your both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louey.
I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late.Morty
Mark Steckle: ...You're being groomed...
Carter Duryea: I'm being groomed! Mark, thank you, thank you. I'm going to kick so much ass for you, I'm going to take no prisoners, I'm going to be your ninja assassin!