Carter Duryea:I'm psyched! You - I don't know your name yet! What's your name?
Hector: I'm Hector... I just work maintenance.
Carter Duryea: Well, Hector, are you psyched?
Hector: I'm psyched!
Carter Duryea: Well, if Hector's psyched, then, I know I'm psyched!

[about to be kissed] Uh, I heard this rumor... alcohol impairs your judgment.

Carter Duryea

[picking up another phone] Hello, this is Mr. Foreman. If you give my daughter an alcoholic beverage or a joint, I will hunt you down and neuter you.

Dan Foreman

Carter Duryea: Wow, you really believe in this stuff, huh?
Dan Foreman: Of course. Why else would I do it?

Timing is everything in life.

Morty

After months of speculation, analysts expect an announcement this week that GlobeCom International will acquire Waterman Publishing and its flagship magazine, Sports America. The man at the helm of GlobeCom, billionaire media magnate Teddy K., has been on a spending spree recently, acquiring a food service company, a cable operator, and two telecommunications providers in deals totaling more than $13 billion. And how did one lucky ferret owner come to own the largest dog treat manufacturer on the East Coast?

Anchorwoman

Shaun: I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my mum, roommate, and girlfriend all in one day...
Liz: Who said I was taking you back?

This one comes with a basic sort of digital package, uh, you got your Lifestyle Channels there, a bit of "Trisha," um, you got "Entertainment" - don't know what that is. News. All the basic, uh, news channels.

Shaun

Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÈs. But what I will say is this?
[chuckling]
Ed: It's not the end of the world.

Liz: Goodbye, Ed. Love you.
Ed: Cheers!
Shaun: I love you too, Ed.
Ed: Gaaayy!

Would anyone like... a peanut?

Shaun

Ed: Do you want your messages?
Shaun: What?
Ed: Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
Shaun: *What*?

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