Comedy Quotes
Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!
Dr. Buddy Rydell
I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling out-my-penis in-front-of you-ophobe.
Dave Buznik
Eskimos seem nice.
Lou
I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!
Lou
You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!
Dr. Buddy Rydell
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that?
Dave Buznik: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded.
Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!
Dave Buznik
Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?
Dave Buznik
Lou: I have a question: Why is it that Chuck here thinks he could smoke?
Chuck: Cause I do whatever I want whenever I want, you little Spanish fruit topping.
Lou: Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant.
You can do it!
Rudy Giuliani
[singing] I feel pretty ... oh, so pretty ... oh, so pretty and witty and... gay.
Dave Buznik
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masturbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.
