Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!

Dr. Buddy Rydell

I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling out-my-penis in-front-of you-ophobe.

Dave Buznik

Eskimos seem nice.

Lou

I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!

Lou

You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!

Dr. Buddy Rydell

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that?
Dave Buznik: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded.

Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!

Dave Buznik

Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?

Dave Buznik

Lou: I have a question: Why is it that Chuck here thinks he could smoke?
Chuck: Cause I do whatever I want whenever I want, you little Spanish fruit topping.
Lou: Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant.

You can do it!

Rudy Giuliani

[singing] I feel pretty ... oh, so pretty ... oh, so pretty and witty and... gay.

Dave Buznik

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masturbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

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