Lt. Commander Block: Every aerial photo and recon report indicate a defensive arsenal in the D, and perhaps negative C, categories. There's also some anti-aircraft squadrons. They can send up an ack-ack umbrella high enough to make any attack ineffective.
Admiral Benson: I don't have a clue what you're talkin' about, Phil. Not a fucking clue. I have a shell the size of a fist in my head. Pork Chop Hill. The only way I can make this goddamn toupee to stay on is by magnetizing the entire upper left quadrant of my skull, so you just go ahead and do what you do.

Lt. Commander Block: How are ya, sir?
Admiral Benson: Hawaii? Goddamn it, Bill, I'm supposed to be in California.
Lt. Commander Block: No, sir, this is California.
Admiral Benson: Well, gotta run. Good luck.
Lt. Commander Block: But, sir, this is your command.

You risked the lives of some damn fine pilots... and that's my job!

Admiral Benson

Topper Harley: So... I guess you've been with a man before...
Ramada Thompson: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.

Be seated! Ah... Many of you are wondering what's wrong with my pants, well they started running short on materials right before they got to the knees so don't give me any shit. Ah. I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself "What I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger... and a woman". You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.

Admiral Benson

Topper Harley: Those are some long legs...
Ramada Thompson: I just had them lengthened. Now they go all the way up.

Admiral Benson: Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal... or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!

My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but... it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... eat apple sauce through a straw... pork farm animals.

Topper Harley

My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.

Admiral Benson

You have the whitest white-part-of-the-eyes I've ever seen. Do you floss?

Topper Harley

Admiral Benson: Oh, by the way I would like to thank you for having us over for dinner the other night. Cheryl and I thought the stroganoff was marvelous.
Lt. Commander Block: But sir, we didn't have dinner the other night.
Admiral Benson: Really? Then where the hell was I? And who's this Cheryl?

Admiral Benson: I slipped on a crab. Who put that crab there?
Lt. Commander Block: I don't see any crab, sir.
Admiral Benson: Don't tell me. There were two crabs. They work in pairs. I went to Annapolis for chrissakes!

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