Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The day before the murder, you were seen hitting the victim and saying... what?
Ponton: 'I am going to kill you, I am going to kill you'

Female Reporter: Inspector!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes.
Female Reporter: Yes, what is your initial premise?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That Gluant did not want to be killed. Everthing else follows like liquid mercury flowing down a - a - a sloping thing.
Female Reporter: How long do you think it will take to find the killer?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.

[about Glaunt] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the drawing on the floor.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do not leave Europe!
Yuri: But we have matches in Asia.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: All right. Do not leave Europe or Asia!
Yuri: And we also have a match in Brazil.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do not leave Europe, Asia, or the Americas!

Nicole: Do you live alone, Inspector?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Yes, I do.
Nicole: Do you ever get lonely?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: No. Not since the Internet.

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!

Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I - I find your accent quite funny. Where are you fvam?
Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [mocking him] "do-do-do-ba-ba-lo"
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You need to work on your accent.

My miracle pill for the middle-aged man!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

You are Yuri the trainer who trains.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Ponton: He was just found dead in a training facility locker room. Shot in the head.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Was it fatal?
Ponton: Yes.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: How fatal?
Ponton: Um, completely.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I want to talk to him now!

A Woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

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