Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.
Ted Nelson, Customer: [pause] Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well, that's ...
Richard Hayden: ...What?

Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Go on, I'm listening.
Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?

Gas Station Employee: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
Richard Hayden: Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Lucky Day: Dusty, how do you like your bat?
Dusty Bottoms: Well done.

Oh great! Real Bullets!

Lucky Day

Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: Eh?
Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: You *will* die like dogs.

You son of a motherless goat!

Lucky Day

Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?

Dusty Bottoms

What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show.

Lucky Day

Dusty Bottoms: No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are...
Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: The Three Amigos!

Well I'd like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman.

Dusty Bottoms

Sew, very old one! Sew like the wind!

Ned Nederlander

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