Kenny Fisher: 'Sup, ladies? Yo Jana, wanna dance?
Jana: I'm allergic.
Kenny Fisher: You're allergic to dancing?
Jana: Yeah.

Amanda Beckett: Hi, umm... Do you happen to know who Preston Myers is?
Earth Girl: D'uh. He only sat like, right next to you in freshman English. But I guess you wouldn't remember that. I mean, why would Amanda Beckett pay any attention to a unique spirit like Preston, or even a unique spirit like me? Maybe it's because she's a little busy ordering around her little conformist flock of sheep. SHEEP! You are all sheep! Baaaaah!

I don't know about you, but I really believe that there's one person out there, and for me it's gotta be Amanda.


Kenny Fisher: I mean peep this - They say here 92 percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. 92 percent of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" 92 percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a 92 percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.

Mike Dexter: Guys, we're gonna be in college soon. You know what there's gonna be in college, right?
Jake: Girls that used to be in high school.
Mike Dexter: No, women. College women. Women with no curfew, women on the pill, women... women, bro. We are staring into the future here. And the future is women.

You know what they say about women and trolley cars. There's plenty of 'em in the sea.


Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.

Angel Stripper

William: I downloaded this little baby off the Net. I will know exactly how many spirits I may imbibe without affecting my judgment or my behavior.
X-Phile 2: You have every angle covered.
X-Phile 1: You know William, from this light, you somewhat resemble David Duchovny.

Thank God you found her! She just took three thingies of herbal ecstasy and wondered off! She's so out of it, anything could have happened and she probably wouldn't even know it! God, I was so worried somebody was... well you know, taking advantage of her or something. Here, help me get her on her feet.

Stoned Girl's Friend

Kenny Fisher: Do you, uh... what a drink?
Stoned Girl: Okay.
Kenny Fisher: Uh... how 'bout I poison it?
Stoned Girl: Okay.

Crying Drunk Girl: Thush bezt tea weveram sisu gizem chext ear!
[subtitled translation: This is the best party ever! I'm so gonna miss you guys next year!]
[she trows her arms around them and stumbles off]
Preston: There's one at every party.
Denise: Kind of makes you never want to drink, huh?

Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!

Exchange student

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