Denise: Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.
Preston: Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G!

Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."

Denise

I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!

Mike Dexter

You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.

Stoner Guy

There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.

Denise

Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, okay?

Ritchie Koolboy: Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo.
DJ Sammy: Yo, who's a fag?
Kenny Fisher: Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn!

Princess Vespa: So, where are you from?
Lone Starr: Who knows?
Princess Vespa: You don't know where you're from?
Lone Starr: Not really. I was left on the doorstep of a monastery.
Princess Vespa: A monastery? Where?
Lone Starr: Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.

Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!

Barf

Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!

Dark Helmet

Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted.

Dark Helmet

Lone Starr: I wonder, will we ever see each other again?
Yogurt: Who knows? God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.

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