Denise: Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.
Preston: Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G!

Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."


I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!

Mike Dexter

You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.

Stoner Guy

There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.


Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, okay?

Ritchie Koolboy: Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo.
DJ Sammy: Yo, who's a fag?
Kenny Fisher: Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn!

Princess Vespa: So, where are you from?
Lone Starr: Who knows?
Princess Vespa: You don't know where you're from?
Lone Starr: Not really. I was left on the doorstep of a monastery.
Princess Vespa: A monastery? Where?
Lone Starr: Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.

Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!


Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!

Dark Helmet

Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted.

Dark Helmet

Lone Starr: I wonder, will we ever see each other again?
Yogurt: Who knows? God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.

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