Van Wilder: What's that intoxicating scent you're wearing Doris?
Ms. Doris Haver: I have cats.
Van Wilder: Meow!

Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder?
Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"!
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks.
Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.

We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity.

Van Wilder

If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.

Van Wilder

Taj: Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
Van Wilder: Details. Only details.

Hey look. I read the damn article all right. But don't tell anyone because if word gets out that I read my reputation shot to hell.

Van Wilder

Dinner for two. Clothing optional.

Van Wilder

All this time I thought I was more to you than a flaccid story.

Van Wilder

You have shown me a live I could only dream about back home by masturbating in my father's woodshed.

Taj

Is that all you people think about? Now, I admit I applied for this job because I wanted to cut loose and shake my romp, but I belive that this dilema cannot be solved by partying.

Taj

Is that all you people think about? Getting fucked up?

Taj

Gwen, good of you to come. Now take off your clothes. It is the naked mile run.

Van Wilder

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