Gwen: [Mouths] What are you doing here?
Van Wilder: [Mouths] I don't know!
Van Wilder: But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.
Suicidal Freshman: I don't have a pen.
Van Wilder: Well remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you.
Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.Van Wilder
Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clark: ... and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds: ... and a basket case...
Claire Standish: ... a princess...
John Bender: ... and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.
Allison Reynolds: I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him.
Claire Standish: He's an adult.
Allison Reynolds: Yeah, he's married too.
Claire Standish: Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Allison Reynolds: Well, the first few times...
Claire Standish: The first few times? You mean you did it more than once?
Allison Reynolds: Sure.
Claire Standish: Are you crazy?
Brian Johnson: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.Andrew
I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.Claire Standish
Being bad feels pretty good, huh?John Bender
Bender: You load up, you party?
Brian Johnson: Uhh, no, actually, we dress up.
Andrew Clark: So... what's your poison?
Andrew Clark: ... Ok, forget I asked.
Allison Reynolds: Vodka.
Andrew Clark: Oh yeah? How much vodka do you drink?
Allison Reynolds: Tons.
Andrew: I said, leave her alone.
Bender: You gonna make me?
Bender: You and how many of your friends?
Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal.
Claire Standish: Why didn't you want me to know that you are a virgin?
Brian Johnson: Because it's my business ... my personal business.