Jules: You scratch our back and we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, the funny thing about my back, is that it's located on my cock.

I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...

Officer Slater

You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy.


Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site.
Seth: Yeah, but the problem is that they don't actually show the dick going in the pussy. Have you ever seen a pussy by itself?
Evan: No.
Seth: I dunno, it's not for me.

I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding Vag.


[imitating Becca] Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube.


Seth: You dropped your purse, ma'am. Would you like me to help you with your shopping?
Seth: That would be lovely! Do you want me to buy you alcohol?
Seth: That would be lovely!
Old Lady: [at the cash register, after buying alcohol]
Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!
Seth: Enjoy fucking Jules!
Seth: I will!

I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.

Officer Slater

Oh my God! That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my life! Can you tell it again, do you have time?


Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: Breast Reduction Surgery? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back-problems, man.

It's like a division sign.


Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.

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