Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.
Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.

You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't of slept with that guy?' We could be that mistake!


I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."


Ah, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.

Officer Michaels

McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?

Officer Slater

Officer Michaels: Yeah McLovin, how is it going with the ladies?
Fogell: It's not the "going" I'm worried about... but the "coming."

I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.


I'm not too worried about it, really. I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry about it.


Fogell: Well, when I got there it was either this or Muhammad.
Evan: Why would you even pick Muhammad.
Fogell: For your information, Muhammad is the most commonly used name on the planet.
Evan: Fogell, have you ever even met anyone named Muhammad?
Fogell: Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: NO! That's why it's a stupid, made-up, fucking fairy tale name!

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: You would too... if you were a man.

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

[singing] There's a bunch of birds in the sky. And some deers just went running by.


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