"I do believe in this." What does that even mean?


I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!


Jay: Maybe he's got a message on him, like in Con Air.
Rufus: Aww, man, did that movie suck!
Jay: [hiding behind silent Bob] Kill it, kill it!
Rufus: Con Air, Con Shit!

Bethany: So this is all about revenge.
Azrael: After the first couple of million years, no. My only goal was escape, but, surprise surprise, demons can't get into heaven... but angels can.

Loki: I forgot my little voodoo doll. Wow. It really does look just like you. Maybe, if I believed enough...
[pauses, then crushes voodoo doll of Whitland, who is terrified but unharmed]
Loki: I don't believe in voodoo. [leaves, re-enters with a gun] But I do believe in this.

Consequences schmonsequences.


Bartleby: You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years eight times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.
Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less!

Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.


Jay: You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.
Bethany: I'll keep that in mind.

[waking from a dream] I didn't cum on you, Pete, I swear.


Quit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you.


You're looking at eons of repression getting purged. If only they'd let us jerk off.


FREE Movie Newsletter