She could be a farmer in those clothes.


Cher: Ms. Stoger. That machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Miss Stoger: Thanks for the legal advice.

That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.


Cher: You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses.
Driving Instructor: Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.

Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees.

Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.


Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.


Josh: You look like Pippi Longstocking.
Cher: Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's Pippi Longstocking?
Josh: Someone Mel Gibson never played.

Christian: Do you like Billie Holiday?
Cher: I love him.

Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked.
Cher: No, I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.

What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?


Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.

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