Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!

Valentine McKee: [speaking to Burt over a radio] Burt, it's under the ground! It's an underground monster!
Burt Gummer: God Almighty!

Earl Bassett: [digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mitts on this for no 15 bucks.
Valentine McKee: You got that right!

Doug Madsen: Remember the theme of this trip, whenever wherever?
Woody Stevens: Oh, fine, whatever. We'll stay the night and get gas in the morning. Okay?
Doug Madsen: Fine, I just don't understand what the rush is.
Woody Stevens: There's no rush! I just wanna ride, just ride Sally ride. You are so weird! You ask some weird shit and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?

Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis: Madrid.
Woody Stevens: Spain?

So we're stuck here. That pisses me off.

Earl Bassett

Valentine McKee: What the hell's in those things, Burt?
Burt Gummer: A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.

Jack: Those assholes got balls.
Red: I'm gonna put them in my mouth and chew on them!
Jack: You're gonna put what in your mouth?

We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!

Valentine McKee

Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!

Earl Bassett

Forget about them, more fun for us! Like what you see, huh? Let's get involved!

Highway Patrolman

Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.

Earl Bassett

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