Earl Bassett: What're you bringin' that vacuum cleaner, for?
Valentine McKee: I like this vacuum cleaner.
Earl Bassett: Y'never use it.
Valentine McKee: Well, it's good for parts.

Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
Woody Stevens: Well not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.

Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.

Valentine McKee

Charley: Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby Davis: You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley: Yeah.

Earl Bassett: No breakfast?
Valentine McKee: I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.
Earl Bassett: No, it was eggs. I made eggs. Over easy.
Valentine McKee: The hell you did! Baloney and beans. It's your turn!

Earl Bassett: They must be long gone by now.
Valentine McKee: Yeah. Hey, why don't you go take a little stroll and find out?

Maggie: That's too bad. I wanted you to try my chili. It's pretty hot.
Dudley Frank: No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss.

Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass.

Valentine McKee

I have a girlfriend, beat that out of me, bitch.

Dudley Frank

Valentine McKee: Good luck, shithead.
Earl Bassett: Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

Dudley Frank: Im looking foward to the parade this year. I got little tootsi rolls to throw to the kids.
Woody Stevens: Tootsi rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out.

Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails!

Earl Bassett

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