Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters.

Burt Gummer

[to the dead Graboid, which he shot several thousand times] Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!

Burt Gummer

This valley is just one long smorgasboard.

Valentine McKee

Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?

Rhonda LeBeck

You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up.

Valentine McKee

Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?

Earl Bassett

Earl Bassett: We gotta run. We've got a schedule to keep.
Valentine McKee: Yeah. See, we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.

Earl Bassett: Is this a job for an intelligent man?
Valentine McKee: Well, show me one and I'll ask him.

I can't believe we said no to free beer!

Valentine McKee

Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.

Valentine McKee

Archie: You're going to shoot me?
Otto: [in a pompous, English accent] Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!

I looked at the clock... because I was saying to myself... It's five to seven, where could he be going with that sawed off shotgun?


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