Matthew: Why are you doing this?
Danielle: What?
Matthew: This.
Danielle: Isn't that what you want? To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel? So this is what you really think of me.

Karate Guy in Porno: Oooh, excellent, grasshopper. And now for your final task of your training.
Danielle: You're gonna need a harder piece of wood that that, cowboy.
Matthew: That's not her.
Eli: Yeah, it is.
Matthew: Oh, no.

Samnang: He fucked me, Mum. He fuck me real bad.
Samnang's Mother: That son of a bitch!

Well, I don't speak a foreign language, so that's out. And I can't quote John F. Kennedy now, can I, Ryan?


That fuckin' bitch just can't run away because she don't want to screw on film anymore!


Hugo Posh: Kelly! What do we say?
Kelly: Fuck you.
Hugo Posh: Always with the big words.

[realizing Matt has accidentally taken E] Oh, my God, this is gonna be amazing!


Matthew: I just feel so weird...
Danielle: Shh. Relax. Ecstasy is not that bad.
Matthew: What?
Danielle: Kelly likes dosing people with E.
Matthew: Oh, my God. Am I gonna die?

Kelly: Cool ride huh?
Jock # 1: Yeah... if you're a fag!
Kelly: [throws jock to the ground] Get in!

Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was 10.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on...

Film School Student: Why'd you skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?
Eli: Shut the fuck up. Next question.

Man, there is some talent here. You get those girls together with those assbags right there and shoot 'em humping at, like, a football game or at a prom, that video would sell. Fuck, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it.


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