Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.Female Doctor
Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we. You weren't chosen for a reason.
Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.
Thanks for the free money, Bitch.Jay
If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."Ben Stone
Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.
I live in your phone!Ben Stone
[to bartender] You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderrama.Ben Stone
Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.Ben Stone
Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.Jonah
Fuck you hormones!Ben Stone
Now that's how you get pink eye.Ben Stone