Clive Cod: Let me tell you something, I don't know anything about that, so you can kiss my fat ass.
Carter: Clive, it would take me all day to kiss your fat ass.

Captain Diel: Every now and then we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.
Carter: You're God damn right

Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War.
Lee: War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Lee: Yaw.
Carter: Y'all!
Lee: Yaw!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Lee: Yoll.

Some people just don't understand boundaries.

Puss in Boots

[sees Shrek naked] Aahh! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!


Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: On the contrary.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop It!
Pinocchio: Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't!

Donkey: [after becoming Puss-in-Boots] I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick!
Shrek: Donkey...
Donkey: I feel all exposed and nasty!

Ed Hocken: You haven't shot anybody in six months.
Frank Drebin: That's true. Funny how you miss the little things.

Rocco Dillon: Any last words before I throw you off?
Jane Spencer: Yes. Don't do it.

They're going to blow that place sky high. It'll be a tragedy. Unless it's during a dance number.

Frank Drebin

Hey! You call this slop? Real slop has got chunks in it! This is more like gruel! And this Chateau le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think we are, animals?

Frank Drebin

Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Frank Drebin: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.

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