Steve Stifler: Hey, Kev, seen shit break lately?
Kevin: Why? What did you do to him?
Steve Stifler: Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked. But uh... I'll tell you one thing... I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.

You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!

Steve Stifler

Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.

Nadia: [takes off her panties]
Jim: Holy shit.
Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member: [together] Holy shit!
Enthusiastic Guy: [enthusiastically] Holy shit!

Go, trig boy! It's your birthday!

Garage Band Member

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.


Now, do you know what a clitoris is?

Jim's Dad

We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.

Jim's Dad

Kevin: He's pullin' out the porn.
Finch: He's desperate. Jim, just wait 'til she leaves.

God... let this be it.


No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!


Steve Stifler: Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
Heather: Well, uh, I was asking Chris to the prom. So do you wanna go?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah, that would be great.
Steve Stifler: Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Stifler, fuck! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
Steve Stifler: What? Whatever.

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