Princess Fiona: You know, you are acting like a... a...
Shrek: Go on, say it.
Princess Fiona: Like an ogre!
Shrek: Well, whether your parents like it or not, I am an ogre!
[growls at the dog to shut it up]
Shrek: And guess what, princess? That's not about to change.
Princess Fiona: I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.
[she leaves]
Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre! Arrr!"

I'm a real boy!

Pinocchio

[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me!

Hey, boss. Let's shave him.

Puss-in-Boots

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.

Donkey

Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.

I hate Mondays.

Puss-in-Boots

The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going! FAR! FAR!... away.

Shrek

Jack Sparrow: [empties bottle of rum] Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: [stands up and staggers drunkenly] Oh... that's why.

Jack Sparrow: Er, Mr. Gibbs...
Gibbs: Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I feel sullied and unusual.

Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

Davy Jones

Will Turner: And then I intend to return here to marry you.
Elizabeth Swann: Properly?
Will Turner: Eagerly, if you'll still have me.
Elizabeth Swann: If it weren't for these bars, I'd have you already.

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