There are two kinds of people in this world, winners and losers.

Richard

[written on piece of paper showing it to Frank] Welcome to hell.

Dwayne

What in the world?

Pageant Official Jenkins

Olive: Grandpa, am I pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
Olive: You're just saying that.
Grandpa: No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality.

Gretchen: Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady: I wouldn't?
Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

Why do you wear your hair like that? Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?

Regina George

[narrating] Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

Cady

Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.

Gretchen

[narrating] Finally, Girl World was at peace. And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it... Just kidding.

Cady

Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeeze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.

Regina: Why don't I know you?
Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
Regina: What?
Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina: Wait... what?
Cady: My mom taught me at home...
Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
Cady: I didn't say anything.

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