Kid #3: My Mommy says smoking kills.
Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?
Kid #3: No.
Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?
Kid #3: No.
Nick Naylor: Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?
Please don't ruin my childhoodJoey Naylor
Jeff Megall: [Talking to Nick on the phone, late at night] Gotta go. London. It's 7 AM in the Old Empire.
Nick Naylor: When do you sleep?
Jeff Megall: [pause] Sunday.
Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.
My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie Mephistopheles.Heather Holloway
Jack: [In Elevator] Did you hear that?
Nick Naylor: [pause] No.
That's ludicrous - The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!Senator Ortolan Finistirre
We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.BR
Jeff Megall: Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.
Nick Naylor: Cigarettes in space?
Jeff Megall: It's the final frontier, Nick.
Nick Naylor: But wouldn't they blow up in an all oxygen environment?
Jeff Megall: Probably. But it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue. 'Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever device.'
The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'Nick Naylor
[to Shooter] Did that go in? I wasn't watching, did it go in? I didn't see it, could you tell me if it went in?Happy Gilmore
Virginia: I thought we were just going to be friends.
Happy Gilmore: What? Friends don't listen to Endless Love in the dark.