Doodie!

Spalding Smails
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Well, we're waiting!

Judge Smails

I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!

Al Czervik

Hey, you scratched my anchor!

Al Czervik

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Al Czervik

Sloane: What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
Cameron: It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong... a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?

Ferris Bueller: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris Bueller: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.

Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

Ferris Bueller

Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... Its true.
Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas.
Grace: Mmm-hmm.
Ed Rooney: Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body.
Grace: Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.

Ed Rooney: Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine.

Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Ferris Bueller

The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Ferris Bueller

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