Bill Lumbergh: Milton, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, mmmKay? [leaves]
Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

Nina: Now Milton, don't be greedy, let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece!
Milton Waddams: Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a piece.
Nina: Just pass.
Milton Waddams: [mumbling] But... the ration of people to cake is...
[cake is passed, everybody but Milton gets a piece]
Milton Waddams: [whispering] Set the building on fire.

"Due to our tight fiscal situation, we regret to inform you we are still going to have to close your station. Good luck in Sherbune, John. And give your men my best. Sincerely, Governor Fuckhead."

Captain O'Hagan

Thorny: Now Officer Rabbit and I are going to stand here while the three of you smoke the whole bag.
College Kid: Please, no?

Thorny: You smell something, Rabbit?
Rabbit: *sniff sniff* ... Fear.

Thorny: [after pulling car over] Do you know how fast you were going back there?
College Kid 1: Umm... 65?
Thorny: 63.
College Kid 1: But... isn't the speed limit 65?
Thorny: Yeah. It is.
College Kid 2: [stoned] I'm freakin' out, man!

You gonna set my country music award on fire?


Thorny: All right Arlo, why don't you hop up on Uncle Rabbit's lap?
Rabbit: [Indicating that he still has an erection] I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorny!

Thorny: Say Farva, you wanna take this dispatch?
Farva: Hell, yeah!
Thorny: Yeah, I bet you would.

Captain O'Hagan: Well, this burger thing with Farva's really screwed our pooch.
Thorny: What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' martian!

I'm OK... but I can't say the same for these white devils.


Foster: [explaining his low number of tickets issued] I can't make them speed!
Captain O'Hagan: Try hiding.

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