Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat".
Noah Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: Exactly.

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Wayne Campbell

Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.

Garth Algar

Andrew Largeman: Who are you?
Sam: I'm your new friend Sam. Tissue?

Tim: By the way, it says 'balls' on your face.
Andrew Largeman: [to Mark] Asshole!
Mark: What? My mum did it.

It's amazing how much of my life has been determined by a quarter inch piece of plastic.

Andrew Largeman

Mark: Hey, vagina!
Andrew Largeman: Hey, what's up, guys? Uh, Sam, it's Mark, Dave, and you remember Jesse.
Jesse: Hey.
Sam: Hey.
Dave: What's up?
Mark: Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry I said vagina just now. I didn't know you were here.
Sam: Oh, that's okay.
Mark: Nice. Let's get fucked up.

Andrew Largeman: It looks nice in here.
Gideon Largeman: Yeah, we've been doing some work to the place.
Andrew Largeman: Really?
Gideon Largeman: No, I don't know why I just said that.

Safe... when I'm with you I feel so safe... like I'm home.

Andrew Largeman

Diego: Who just saw some titties?
[Mark, Largeman and Sam raise their hands tentatively]
Diego: Ok. Now everybody calm the fuck down!

You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.

Andrew Largeman

Andrew Largeman: You remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own and then finding you once I figured stuff out?
Sam: The ellipsis?
Andrew Largeman: Yes, the ellipsis. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? 'Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you, Samantha. I think that's the only thing I've ever been really sure of in my entire life.

FREE Movie Newsletter