Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: 1974.
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.

Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.
Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us.

No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

Billy Madison

Dad, I think Crazy Carl is right.

Billy Madison

Brian Madison: Remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock: r-o-k?
Billy Madison: Yeah, so what's your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohhh yeh! The c is silent.

You can do it. Cut his fucking head off.


Coach Klein: Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.
Bobby Boucher: No.
Coach Klein: Gatorade.
Bobby Boucher: H2O.
Coach Klein: Gatorade.
Bobby Boucher: H2O.
Coach Klein: Water sucks. It really, really sucks. Water sucks.

Coach Klein: Anybody got an idea?
Derek Wallace: Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the refferee by mistake?
Lyle Robideaux: Yeah, that was pretty funny. How 'bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville, and threw him into the stands?
Guy Grenouille: Y'all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare ass?
Farmer Fran: Remember the time Bobby...
Bobby Boucher: Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourban Bowl?

You can do it... you can do it all night loong!


Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.
Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.

You don't have what they call "the social skills." That's why you never have any friends, 'cept fo' yo' mama.

Mama Boucher

Vicki Vallencourt: Well, Bobby Boucher, welcome to manhood. I'll make sure to welcome you properly later.
Bobby Boucher: Once again, I'm not quite sure what that means.

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