That's my boy!


We dictators aren't all bad. While Western countries continue to ravage our planet's resources, we preserve our land and conserve it by burying thousands of bones in single mass eco-graves.

General Aladeen

Store Customer: God, the police are such fascist bastards.
General Aladeen: Yes, and not even in a good way.

I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates -- it means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.

General Aladeen

General Aladeen: You're an Apple Genius, so what do you do?
Nadal: Mostly I clean semen out of laptops.

[to his pregnant wife] Is this a boy or an abortion?

General Aladeen

You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my vagina?

Pregnant Woman

General Aladeen: Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?

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Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.


Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

Bobby: Have you ever seen a horse race before? Have you ever, like, heard one on the radio?
James Brennan: Harness racing or, like, the normal kind?
Paulette: That's a good question.
Bobby: That doesn't really matter. Look, the Kentucky Derby, have you seen the Kentucky Derby? The way they announce it on the radio, and it's really...
Paulette: Yeah, 100, 200, going...
Bobby: That's an auction, sweetie.
Paulette: Right.

James Brennan: Maybe I'm not the right guy to run this game. I really... I think I should probably be on the rides department.
Bobby: Oh, no, no, no. No. You're more of a game guy.
Paulette: Yeah, you're very... you're very gamey.

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