You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' mother (expletive). You will be going in as undercover high school students.Captain Dickson
When did I get stabbed?! That's awesome!Schmidt
Can you two stop (expletive) with the Korean Jesus!Captain Dickson
Deputy Chief Harvey: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
Deputy Chief Harvey: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...
(Expletive) you science!Jenko
Mom, dad, it's me, Thomas. Um, where do I start? This is supposed to be a small get-together. I wanted to be cool for one night. You know, I wanted girls to notice me. Then things got a little out of control.Thomas
The only thing you're working on is diabetes you fat (expletive).Costa
Wear something tight.Costa
It's on till the break of dawn!Costa
Even Wheelchair Robert got a handjob!Costa
Party Goer: There's a midget trapped in the oven!
Thomas: What are they saying?
Kirby: I don't know. All I heard was midget and oven.
Tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. Tonight's about changing the game.Costa