Costa: We'll have a whole day to fix this place up like new.
Thomas: What about this? (points to the camera) What if my parents see it?
Costa: Nobody's going to see this but us, I promise.
Jimmy Kimmel (on his show): So you know, this high school party in Pasadena -- have you seen the footage?

I'm Thomas Cub. It's my birthday today.


You like my erection selection?

George (to the mirror)

If you want to pick a fight with your sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards - and that invites disease, and death.


Linda: I can fly.
George: You can't fly!
Linda: I believe I can fly.
George: If you're going to get literal with an R. Kelly song, do Trapped in the Closet...

Eva: Ohh George. I like you.
George: I like you too Eva.
Eva: We should make love sometime...

George: All these people live here. This is a commune.
Seth: We prefer 'intentional community.' We're not a bunch of hippies sitting around playing guitar.

Eva: I know New York is a great city, but I do not miss that lifestyle at all. I mean it was just stress, and Blackberries, and sleeping pills. I used to drink a triple latte every morning just to wake up.
Linda: Well, I see your point, but I kind of value the sleeping pill and the Blackberry and the latte.
Seth: You know you can really get trapped in that web of beepers and Zenith televisions and Walkmens and Discmans and floppy discs and zip drives, laser discs, answering machines and Nintendo Power Glove...
Linda: Wow, you know so much about technology.

Wayne Davidson: My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.
George: Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.

Mrs. Plum: Stephanie started a new job!
Stephanie Plum: Yeah, I did. I just got a gun.
Mrs. Plum: Whoa! (Grandma Mazur checks out the gun and proceeds to shoot the chicken sitting on the dinner table)
Mrs. Plum: Put the gun away, ma!
Mr. Plum: She belongs in a home.
Grandma Mazur: Shot that sucker in the gumpy...

Hookers... they always know somethin'.

Stephanie Plum

Stephanie Plum: You guys got anything full-time, part-time?
Connie: How comfortable are you with the lowlifes?
Stephanie Plum: I sold lingerie for three years in Newark.
Connie: You're good to go.

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