Benjamin: Hey Rosie, am I doing anything right?
Rosie: You're handsomer than the other dads. Lots of them don't have hair. So that's good.

I like the animals, but I love the humans.

Duncan

Benjamin: This place is perfect! Why didn't you mention it earlier?
Mr. Stevens: It's a bit complicated.
Benjamin: Complicated's okay. What's so complicated about this place?
Mr. Stevens: Well, you see, it's uhhh... (Lion roars, loudly) It's a zoo.
Rosie: Yay!
Mr. Stevens: Yay!

You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

Benjamin

Gangster: You got some big a** balls, man.
Noah: Can't find underwear. Balls don't fit.

Sandy Griffith: Have you started looking for a job yet? What about babysitting?
Noah: Babysitting sucks. Adult men don't babysit things.

I'm more of a 'sit on the couch, do what I say or I'll kill you' type of babysitter.

Noah

What's up little tampon?

Noah

I let my haters be my motivators!

Karl

Noah: My name's Noah Jaybird. Ca caa! What's your name?
Soul Baby: They call me Soul. Soul Baby.
Noah: Soul Baby?
Soul Baby: Yeah.
Noah: Keep it in control baby. Tears, no fears man.
Soul Baby: Is that right?
Noah: Respect it, don't neglect it. Treat it, don't beat it.
Soul Baby: You're a bada** motherf**ker.

Jack: This is insane, man, you've got to call him!
Jill: Oh will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister.

Al Pacino: Your sister and I grew up on the same streets. When I look at her, I see me.
Jack: When I look at her I see me too.

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