Gracie: Get off of me! I thought you were gay!
Neil Patrick Harris: I am for that!

Who are those guys?

Kid at Party

I'll Skype you later, or text you later. Or both at the same time!


Kumar: How are you still alive?
Neil Patrick Harris: What are you talking about?
Harold: We saw you get shot, remember?
Neil Patrick Harris: You have to be more specific...
Kumar: In that whore house?
Harold: In Texas?
Kumar: You branded a prostitute...
Harold: Remember?
Neil Patrick Harris: Oh yeah...

I shot Santa Claus in the face. He's real, and I shot him in the face.


Kumar: Those kids put something in here.
Harold: Is it drugs? Is it semen?
Kumar: Doesn't taste like semen...

Hey, what's the word Big Bird?

Bucky Larson

Jimmy Fallon: You don't look like the average porn star.
Bucky Larson: Oh yeah, cause I'm wearing a sweater.

Porn Store Worker: We don't sell kiddie porn.
Bucky Larson: Oh, I'm allergic to cats.

Debbie Larson: Love that new haircut.
Bucky Larson: I get a lot of compliments on it. Thanks Mom!
Debbie Larson: Don't thank me, thank the bowl.

I'm the son of two movie stars! That's like uhh, super duper, movie star!

Bucky Larson

Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America!

Bucky Larson

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