Comedy Quotes
Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What're you a kitchen Flight Attendant: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man
Annie: You are a flight attendant.
Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?
Lillian
There's sperm everywhere. I cracked a blanket in half.
Rita
I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.
Helen's Stepson
We'd like to invite you to no longer live with us anymore.
Brynn
Catch you on the flip side, motherf****er!
Annie
Adam's Mom Diane: I'm moving in.
Adam: No.
Adam's Mom Diane: I'm your mother, Adam.
Adam: Exactly.
Celebrities beat cancer all the time. Lance Armstrong, he keeps getting it.
Kyle
Kyle: You have cancer?
Adam: They found it yesterday.
Kyle: They found it yesterday? Who found it?
Adam: My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans. Who do you think found it?
If you were a casino game, you would have the best odds.
Kyle
Adam: You really think that a girl is going to go for me just 'cause I have cancer?
Kyle: For the millionth time. Yes!
I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt and see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.
Ned
