There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.


[as hotel desk clerk; in deep voice] Paging Mr. Herman! Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk!

Pee-wee Herman

This is one of my personal favorite parts of the tour. Please say hello to our residents, Pedro and his wife Inez. Inez is holding a clay pot that she seems very proud of. She has carefully detailed it with lots of paint and glaze. And Pedro is working on an "adobe." Can you say that with me? "Adobe".


Pee-wee: How do ya like school, Billy?
Pee-wee: Closed!

  • Permalink: Closed!
  • Added:

Look out, Mister Potato Head!


Simone: Do you have any dreams?
Pee-wee: Yeah, I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest...

[falls off bike after attempting tricks] I meant to do that.


Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!

Pee-wee: What did you do?
Mickey: Well, I lost my temper and I took a knife and I uh-. Do you know those "Do Not Remove Under the Penalty of Law" labels they put on mattresses?
Pee-wee: Yeah.
Mickey: Well I CUT one of them off!
Pee-wee: Jee.
Mickey: Yeah, I have a real bad temper.
Pee-wee: Boy, I always thought that was the dumbest law.

I know you are, but what am I?


The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...


Pee-wee: Some night, huh?
Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...!
Pee-wee: Aaaaaahh!
Large Marge: Yes, Sir, the worst accident I ever seen.

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