Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

"What is this a P.F. Chang's?"


We're the 3 best friends that anybody could have.
We're the 3 best friends that anyone could have, we're the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we'll never never ever ever ever leave each other."

Alan [singing]

"When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language."


"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."

Alan [to Teddy]

"I have a demon in me."


"All I wanted was a breakfast brunch."


Stu: "You got shot!"
Phil: "Am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor."
[Stu looks at the gunshot wound and screams]

Phil: Chow! What are you doing here?
Alan: He's my plus one
Chow: We had a sick night bitches

Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything

All right, time's up. Time to sit down, buddy.

"Hey Everybody Here's some fun facts The population of Thailand is 63 million people It is twice the size of Wyoming None of you know Stu like I do I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made pact What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ..." Phil

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