I could bunk down anywhere, West wing, master suite, I'm not picky.


E.B.: Fred, I am special.
Fred: We are all special.
E.B.: You are not getting it. I mean I am really special.

I have the talent, I have the drive.. (got hit by a car) I have to avoid whatever that was.


E.B.: Is she seeing anyone?
Fred: No. She's single and she's looking for a rabbit.

E.B.: What are the newspapers for?
Fred: You know you're an animal, so..
E.B.: Oh, I understand. I'll just sleep down here, among my poo and pee, like a pig.

E.B.: Dad, I wanna drum in a band. I wanna see the world.
EB Dad: EB, the Easter bunny sees the world all in one night.
E.B.: oh, Really dad? What about China?
EB Dad: (Remembers being thrown out in China) Right, so we haven't cracked China yet.
E.B.: Don't wanna be the Easter bunny.
EB Dad: 4000 years of tradition doesn't end just because one selfish bunny doesn't feel like doing it!

All great artists suffer before they become famous. That lady wrote Harry Potter in a ditch.


Girl: I'd love to try everything once.
Rick: Skydiving
Girl: Skinny dipping in the Indian Ocean....
Rick: Sleep with a married guy....

Friend: Are you sure Applebee's is the best place to meet hot women?
Rick: You thinking Olive Garden?

Coakley: We're going to run my favorite play. Starts with a p. And ends with an *ssy.
Fred: What is it?

Grace: What the hell is wrong with you two? You are completely obsessed with sex! This morning you left the computer on g*ng***gf*c*b*th.com!
Fred: I get my weather from that site.

Fred: You know what I love about divorcees? ...They love sex.
Rick: Is that true?
Fred: I don't know... I'd like to think so.
Rick: You would like to think that.

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