[at a press conference] Which is why, this morning, I am issuing an arrest warrant for the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man.

George Stacy

Peter Parker: I've been bitten.
Gwen Stacy: So have I.

I am Groot.

Groot

Peter Quill: I have a plan.
Rocket Raccoon: You've got a plan?
Peter Quill: I have PART of a plan!
Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan?
Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?
Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago?
Drax the Destroyer: I wasn't listening. I was thinking of something else...
Rocket Raccoon: She's right, you don't get an opinion... What percentage?
Peter Quill: I dunno... Twelve percent?
Rocket Raccoon: 12%?
Peter Quill: That's a fake laugh.
Rocket Raccoon: It's real!
Peter Quill: Totally fake!
Rocket Raccoon: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!
Gamora: It's barely a concept.
Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're taking THEIR side?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Peter Quill: [to Groot] Thank you! See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue.

Drax the Destroyer: [after Groot releases the 'fireflies' from his body] Where did you learn to do that?
Peter Quill: I'm pretty sure the answer is "I am Groot".

We are Groot!

Groot

Gamora: And by the way... Your ship is filthy.
Peter Quill: Filthy? She has no idea. If we had a blacklight, it would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.

Korath the Pursuer: Star-Lord!
Peter Quill: Finally!

Ain't no thing like me, except me!

Rocket Raccoon

Rocket Raccoon: That's for if you wanna blow up moons.
Gamora: No one's blowing up moons.
Rocket Raccoon: You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.

Rhomann Dey: They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Nova Corps Officer: What a bunch of a-holes.

Peter Quill: [about Gamora] She betrayed Ronan, he's coming for her. That's when you...
Drax the Destroyer: ...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?

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