Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: So he survived. What's the worst that could happen?
The Penguin: He didn't even lose a limb! An eyeball! Bladder control!

Catwoman: Oh... I would love to live with you in your castle forever... like in a fairy tale...
[Batman caresses the back of her head]
Catwoman: [she claws Batman on the cheek] But I just couldn't live with myself, so don't pretend this is a happy ending!

Catwoman: It's chilly in here.
The Penguin: I'll warm you.

Bruce Wayne: [notices Selina's injuries] What happened?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Did you injure yourself on that ski slope? Is that why you cut short your vacation and came back?
Selina Kyle: You know, it's... a blur. I mean, not complete amnesia. I-I-I remember Sister Mary Margaret puking in church and Betsy Riley saying it was morning sickness and I remember the time when I forgot to wear my underpants to school and the name of the boy who noticed was Ricky Friedberg.
[smile vanishes]
Selina Kyle: He's dead now. But last night... complete blur. Couldn't you just die?

Alfred: Why are you still up? Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person?
Batman: I think he knows who his parents are. There's something else.

Catwoman: We need to talk. You see, you and I have something in common.
The Penguin: Sounds familiar. Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the czars of fashion? Wait, don't tell me... naked sexual charisma.
Catwoman: Batman. The thorn in both our sides. The fly in our ointment.
The Penguin: Ointment! Scented or unscented?

Selina Kyle: It's gonna be a hot time in a cold town tonight.
Bruce Wayne: You've got sort of a dark side, don't you?
Selina Kyle: No darker than yours, Bruce.

Commissioner Gordon: Thanks for the saving the day, Batman. I'm afraid the circus gang is back.
Batman: We'll see.

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Was.
[shoots Batman]

Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

Guard 2: Don't hurt us, lady. Our take-home is less than three-hundred!
Catwoman: You're overpaid.

Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.

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