Fozzie Bear: [holds up a photo of Constantine] Check this out!
Walter: Oh, look, it's Kermit!
Walter: What did you do with Kermit?

[thrown into prison] There must be some mistake! I'm Kermit the Frog!


It's not easy being mean...


Sam Eagle: CIA!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Interpol!
Sam Eagle: This is my travel badge, here's my real badge!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: You must have been looking at the wrong badge!
Sam Eagle: You were saying?

Walter: Do you guys think that Kermit's been acting a little weird lately?
Miss Piggy: That's ridiculous! He's never been so caring and devoted to me!
Rizzo: Yeah, that's what we are saying!

Constantine: You guys have all the freedom you want!
Muppets: WHAT?
Gonzo: When can I do my indoor running with the bulls?

Dominic Badguy: Dominic
Fozzie Bear: Dominic Badguy?
Dominic Badguy: "Bad-gee". It's French.

Kermit: And not one single person noticed I'd been replaced by an evil criminal mastermind?
Fozzie Bear: It sounds worse than it was...
Walter: No, it's as bad as it sounds.

Constantine: My name will go down as the greatest thief of all time!
Dominic Badguy: You mean our names, right?
Constantine: Of course. My name first, then space bump, space bump, space bump, your name...

[Discussing her nail polish with Dolly Polito] There's something, the topcoat. It's like, perfumey, but there's also something, rotten. And I know that sounds crazy, but I can't get enough of it.

Rosalyn Rosenfeld

[saying grace] And please help Richard to marry Diane so that I may have grandchildren, and that the Pope may have more followers.

Richie's Mother

[Epilogue] We took down some very big guys. Some of whom, they were just doing business as usual, helping their communities or their states, but some of them knew they had larceny in their blood, and they even admitted it. But in all, it was six congressmen, one United States senator, and my friend Carmine Polito. We gave the two million back, so that Carmine got a reduced sentence, 18 months. The loss of his friendship would haunt me the rest of my life. When the story was written, Richie DiMaso's name was never mentioned. Syd and I, we moved in together. Rosalyn? She would always be interesting. Our conning days were behind us. You can fool yourself for just so long, that your next reinvention you better have your damn feet on the ground. We got a loan from a bank and were able to go gallery-legitimate. The art of survival, is a story that never ends.

Irving Rosenfeld

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