I understand you have underwear up your ass right now, but it beats the hell out of a shattered skull. Think about it.


Darcy: Bring on the tyros, the neophytes, and the dilettantes.
Jan: SATs are over, Darcy.
Darcy: And you're still jealous of my score.

Courtney: Pass, ew! Good riddance!
Whitney: I don't believe in osmosis.

Darcy: The words "big" and "britches" come to mind.
Whitney: She's crazy. She'll kill us all.
Courtney: Some of us haven't spent the whole summer working out. Right, Carver?

Cheerleaders: Hey, Toros! / That's right / The red black and white / Guess What / Guess What / You really SUCK!
Torrance Shipman: Hey...
The Toros Squad: That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday! / That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday!

Cliff: So, second place... how does it feel?
Torrance Shipman: It feels like first.

Torrance Shipman: He's your brother, you don't see him the way I do.
Missy: And that's a good thing because that would be a crime.

Darcy: Remember: They give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.
Kasey: Did we bring those?

Justin Shipman: Hey, I have to tell you something!
Torrance Shipman: I'm on the phone creep!
Justin Shipman: I realize that, and normally I'd be listening on the other line, but this is important.
Torrance Shipman: Okay, what?
Justin Shipman: [farts twice]
Torrance Shipman: Ugh! Get Out!
Justin Shipman: Thank you for listening.

Where the hell are my spanky pants?


Missy: You ripped off those cheers!
Torrance Shipman: Excuse me, Missy, our cheers are 100 percent original. Count the trophies!
Missy: Well, your trophies are bullshit, and you're a sad ass liar.
Torrance Shipman: All right, that's it! Get out of the car, I'm gonna kick your ass!

Isis: Every time we get some, here y'all come trying to steal it, putting some blonde hair on it and calling it something different. We've had the best squad around for years, but no one's been able to see what we can do. But you better believe, all that's gonna change this year. I'm captain, and I guarantee you we'll make it to Nationals. So just hand over the tape you made tonight, we'll call it even for now.
Torrance Shipman: We don't have any tape.
Missy: Really. We just came to see the show.
Jenelope: What? Come on, Isis! Let me do this!
Isis: You know what? Let's go.
Jenelope: Wait a minute. So that's it? We're just gonna let them go?
Isis: Yeah. Because unlike them, we have class.
Torrance Shipman: I swear I had no idea.
Isis: Well, now you do.
Jenelope: Huh! You been touched by an angel, girl!

FREE Movie Newsletter