When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke.

Carol Connelly

You know what I tell people when they ask why I don't use the word "the" when I talk about CIA? Do you put a "the" in front of God?

Richard Hayes

Rob: Still filming?
Hud: Yeah, people are gonna want to know... how it all went down.

Little did he know. That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?

Dr. Jules Hilbert

Forrest Gump: Lieutenant Dan, what are you doing here?
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: I'm here to try out my sea legs.
Forrest Gump: But you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan.

Sebastian: I have a reputation to uphold.
Kathryn: Oh, but diddling the therapist's is a challenge.
Sebastian: She was overcharging.

The exquisite art of the samurai sword? Don't make me laugh! You're so-called exquisite art is only fit for Japanese fatheads!

Pai Mei

Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley!

Cole Sear

Patrick Gates: [to Abigail] And he dragged you two into this nonsense?
Abigail Chase: Literally.
Riley Poole: I volunteered.

Harry, feel free to treat yourself to a licorice snap. But be careful, they're a wee bit sharp.

Dumbledore

Madeline Drake: This is all my fault.
Pyro: Actually they discovered that it's the male who carries the mutant gene and passes it on, so it's his fault.

Cheese, if you ever disrespect her again like that, I'm gonna pull your fuckin' card, okay? So you're saying you didn't do it, fine. We'll take your money, and we'll be on our way. When it turns out you're lying, I'm gonna spend every nickel of that money to fuck you up. I'm gonna bribe cops to go after you, I'm gonna pay guys to go after your weak fuckin' crew, and I'm gonna tell all the guys I know that you're a C.I. and a rat, and I know a lot of people. And after that, you're gonna wish you listened to me, 'cause your shitty pool hall crime syndicate headquarters is gonna get raided, and your doped-up bitches are gonna get sent back to Laos, and this fuckin' retard right here is gonna be testifying against you for a reduced sentence, while you're gettin' cornholed in your cell by a gang of crackers. 'Cause from what I've heard, the guys that get sent up Concord for killing kids, life's a motherfucker.

Patrick Kenzie

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