Penny Escher: I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick.
Kay Eiffel: And this coming from someone who's never thought about leaping off a building.

Big Ju: You been doing you're job?
Bertier: I been doing my job.
Big Ju: Then why don't you tell your white buddies to block for Rev better because they have not blocked for him worth a blood nickel, and you know it! Nobody plays. Yourself included. I'm supposed to wear myself out for the team? What team? Nah. Nah, what I'm gonna do is look out for myself and I'ma get mine.
Bertier: See man, that's the worst attitude I ever heard.
Big Ju: Attitude reflect leadership, captain.

I know where you keep your gun.

James Bond

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Just call me Frank. Call me Mr. Slade. Call me... Colonel, if you must, just don't call me 'Sir'.
Charlie Simms: All right. Colonel.

Reed Rothchild: TODD... PARKER!
Todd Parker: Rockin' Reid Rothchild!
Reed Rothchild: You made it! Woo-Hoo!
Todd Parker: Amazing party man! Fuckin chicks everywhere!
Reed Rothchild: You bet. Compliments of Jack Horner. Thank you.
Todd Parker: I wouldn't mind me having a piece of that action right over there
Reed Rothchild: Michelle, I'll introduce you.
Todd Parker: Sure, Introduce her to my lap!

[talking to Ana while holding a cardboard box with multiple small paper bags inside] I brought you flours.

Harold Crick

[narrating] This is a story about a man named Harold Crick and his wristwatch.

Karen Eiffel

[screaming] You failed me! You failed me!

Vincent Gray

Dr. Jules Hilbert: The thing to determine conclusively is whether you are in a comedy or a tragedy. Have you met anyone who simply might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy!

William: I'll ride in his place.
Roland: What's your name, William? I'm asking you William Thatcher, to answer me with your name? It's not Sir William. It's not count, or duke or earl William. It's certainly not King William.
William: I'm aware of that.
Roland: You have to be of noble birth to compete!
William: A detail. The landscape is food. Do you want to eat or don't you?
Roland: If the nobles find out who you are there'll be the devil to pay.
William: Then pray that they don't.

You're my ambassador of quawn, man.

Rod Tidwell

Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley!

Cole Sear

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