The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner's ball sack.


Chaucer: I'm a writer.
Wat: A what?
Chaucer: A wha- a what? A writer. I write, with parchment, and ink. Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game. You've read my book? the Book of the Duchess? No? Well, it was allegorical.
Roland: Well, we won't hold that against you, that's for every man to decide for himself.

This guy keeps screamin'! He's paranoid. Quick! Someone get his ass another steroid!

Jimmy Smith Jr

Anna: We do everything that people who have sex do!
Larry: Do you enjoy sucking him off?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: You like his cock?
Anna: I love it!
Larry: You like him coming in your face?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: What does it taste like?
Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter!
Larry: That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

I would never ask you to do anything, that I would not do myself.

Lou Bloom

Penny Escher: I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick.
Kay Eiffel: And this coming from someone who's never thought about leaping off a building.

I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!

Tony Montana

Curiosity is not a sin, Harry. However, from time to time, you should exercise caution.


Your bags are packed and you think the wine will give me a headache?

Erin Gruwell

Bender: What did the doctor say?
Sol: Is he sick?
Alicia: I don't know. I want to see what John's been working on.
Sol: Alicia, you know you can't go in his office.
Bender: You know it's classified, Alicia.

Larry: So Anna tell me your bloke wrote a book. Any good?
Alice: Of course.
Larry: It's about you isn't it?
Alice: Some of me.
Larry: Oh? What did he leave out?
Alice: The truth.

No one, and I mean no one, comes into our house and pushes us around.

Dan Devine

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