Cho Chang: [in the room of requirement] Mistletoe.
Harry Potter: Probably full of nargles.
Cho Chang: What are nargles?
Harry Potter: No idea.
[they kiss]

Ruth: So this is the ship they say is unsinkable.
Cal Hockley: It is unsinkable. God himself could not sink this ship.

Today we acknowledge a really terrible loss. Cedric Diggory was, as you all know, exceptionally hard working, infinitely fair-minded, and most importantly, a fierce, fierce friend. Therefore, I feel you have the right to know exactly how he died. You see, Cedric Diggory was murdered, by Lord Voldemort. The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this. But not to do so I feel would be an insult to his memory. Now the pain we all feel at this dreadful loss reminds me, and, reminds us, that though we may come from different countries and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one. In light of the recent events, the bonds of friendship made this year will be more important than ever. Remember that, and Cedric Diggory will not have died in vain. You REMEMBER THAT... and we'll celebrate a boy who was kind, and honest, and brave, and true, right to the very end.


Frodo: Would you destroy it?
Aragorn: [closing Frodo's hand around the Ring] I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor.

Rose: When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you.
Jack: This is crazy...
Rose: I know... it doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it.

Rose: I know what you must be thinking. "Poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery?"
Jack: No, no, that's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could've happened to this girl to make her feel she had no way out?

Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.

Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo.

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.

Frankie Ballenbacher: You want a cigarette?
Zack Mazursky: No, I don't smoke.
Frankie Ballenbacher: Fuck that. It's good for you.

Who is this person that speaks to me as though I needed his advice?


Oh, I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?


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