King Leonidas: My heart is broken for your loss.
Captain: Heart? I have filled my heart with hate.
King Leonidas: Good.

Richard Chesler: Is that your blood?
Narrator: Some of it, yeah.

Farewell... my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea... comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say, Do not weep... not all tears are an evil.

Gandalf

Duke: To beat this guy, you need speed. You don't have any. Your knees are weak so no hard running. You've got neck arthritis and calcium deposits in most of your joints, so sparring is out.
Paulie: [to Rocky] I had that problem.
Duke: So what we'll be callin' on, is good old-fashioned blunt force trauma. Horse power. Heavy duty cast iron pile drivin' punches that will have to hurt so much it'll rattle his ancestors. Everytime you hit him with a shot, it's got to feel like he tried kissing the express train.
Duke: [cracks his neck] Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs.

Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you want to beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, OK? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!"
[Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them]
Murphy: You'd probably have better luck with a beer.
Connor: Aye, you would.
Detective Greenly: Fuck.
Paul Smecker: Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.

Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

Murphy

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.

Frankie Ballenbacher: You want a cigarette?
Zack Mazursky: No, I don't smoke.
Frankie Ballenbacher: Fuck that. It's good for you.

Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo.

Cho Chang: [in the room of requirement] Mistletoe.
Harry Potter: Probably full of nargles.
Cho Chang: What are nargles?
Harry Potter: No idea.
[they kiss]

Frank Lucas: See, ya are what ya are in this world. That's either one of two things: Either you're somebody, or you ain't nobody.

Professor Severus Snape: There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few...
[stares at Draco Malfoy]
Professor Severus Snape: Who possess, the predisposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.
[notices Harry scribbling on his paper]
Professor Severus Snape: Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to NOT-PAY-ATTENTION.
[steps over to Harry]
Professor Severus Snape: Mister Potter. Our new... celebrity.

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