It's no joke, pal. People die in fairy tales all the time.

Max Baer

Quintus! Release my men. There was a dream that was Rome. It shall be realized. These are the wishes of Marcus Aurelius.

Maximus

It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.

Commodus

[practicing speech] Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.

Luca Brasi

Maddy Bowen: The world is falling apart and all we hear about is blowjob-gate.
Danny Archer: When was the last time the world wasn't falling apart, huh?

The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.

Goose

Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?
Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?
Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.
Turk Malloy: ...shit.

Bertier: Left side!
Big Ju: Strong Side!
Bertier: Left side!
Big Ju: Strong Side!
Bertier: Left side!
Big Ju: Strong Side!

Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik. Man, what happened to you?
Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!
Petey Jones: That ain't funny!

Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...
Rusty: Like we had nothing to lose.
Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem. We're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split 11 ways!

Harry: Why do they have to travel in packs? And how are you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?
[Stops in front of a group of girls, hesitates, then continues walking]
Ron: Blimey, Harry. You've slayed dragons. If you can't get a date, who can?
Harry: I think I'd take the dragon now.

You know the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother, Lily's. Yes, oh yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even more perhaps. Most especially when that person couldn't see it in themselves. Then your father, James on the other hand, he uh ha, he had a certain shall we say talent for trouble. The talent, rumor has it, he passed onto you. You are more like them than you know, Harry. In time you'll come to see just how much.

Professor Lupin

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