Mike McDermott: That's 4,400. I'm gonna call you. Or else, I won't respect myself tomorrow morning.
Teddy KGB: Respect is all you have left in the morning!

Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!

If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I'd do it. It's not something I'm interested in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I'm gonna get some fruit.

Avery Bishop

Nyet! Nyet! No More! No! Not tonight! This son of bitch, all night he, "Check. Check. Check." He trap me!

Teddy KGB

Worm: Now, what did I ever do to that guy?
Mike McDermott: You fucked his mother.

Jerry Maguire: How's your head?
Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.

I'm sure you guys were talking about pirogies and snow but let's cut that out.

Worm

In my club, I will splash the pot whenever the fuck I please.

Teddy KGB

In "Confessions of a Winning Poker Player," Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." It seems true to me, cause walking in here, I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking about the way I lost it.

Mike McDermott

Are you satisfied now, Teddy? Because I can keep busting you up all night if you like.

Mike McDermott

You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

Rod Tidwell

Laurel: You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.

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